I love a good rain storm, especially at night. The quiet thunder and soft falling rain lull me to sleep. On this particular night, as the storm began, and my eyelids slid down, an unusual noise disturbed my sleepy state, rousing me from that wonderful place between being awake and dreaming.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The dripping noise was oddly out of place in the midst of the melodic sounds that a rainstorm should bring.

“Ryan, do you hear that?”

My husband’s response was showered with annoyance and frustration at the situation he knew we were facing, “We have a leaky roof.”

It poured all night, and the leak was incessant. The noise was agitating, and the continuous dripping was a reminder of what needed to be fixed. He got out of bed. Stood under the leak. Examined the ceiling. He could not rest.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

As the leak was discovered, and my husband began formulating a plan to repair it, the days that followed were marked by a string of torrential comments from me:

“How much is this going to cost?”
“You want to do WHAT on our roof with a truck, ladder, and a garden hose?”
“That’s a bad idea.”
“You need to hurry.”

Drip. Drip. Drip.

In response to my comments, my husband then began to pour out annoyance and frustration on me. It was as if I were the leaky roof in the flesh, standing before him.

Five years into our young marriage, I came across Proverbs 19:15, “…a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof.” Further reading in Proverbs 21:19 says, “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” Proverbs 27:15, “A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm…”

Oh, boy. I began to see the light, or the leak in this case.

How often am I being quarrelsome? Do I nag, dripping like a leaky roof? I started to reflect back on my daily encounters with my husband:

“Why did you not start the dryer?”
“You didn’t try the gravy I cooked tonight.”
“Are these your socks on the floor?”
“Your car is dirty.”

Drip. Drip. Drip.

I did not think I was a quarrelsome and nagging wife because my husband was gracious enough to overlook my badgering and not confront me with it. Even if Ryan had pointed out my un-godly wife behavior, I am certain I still would not have acknowledged my dripping as I should, “restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand” (Proverbs 27:16). Ryan would not have been successful in restraining my constant drip, but God would be.

The Lord began revealing to me, “Keri, this is not the relationship I intended for you and your husband. I have so much more to offer than you being like a constant leaky roof in your marriage!” Instead, God wants His people to “pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another”(Romans 14:19).

The Word has helped me identify when I start nagging, complaining, and dripping over my husband and others. In fact, I can now stop the leaks before they start happening. When I do hear leaks spewing from my mouth and flowing to my mind, I am ready to dam them up before they create further and lasting damage. I want to strive to be a godly woman, and that means building my husband up (and others) and not living as a quarrelsome wife, dripping overhead on those I love!